I Couldn't Stand Being Bad At Things
I couldn’t stand being bad at things
Like tennis
When during lessons my younger sister showed early promise
And I showed signs of trouble with hand/eye coordination
I was assigned to gather the fuzzy yellow balls littering the brick-red court
as she volleyed with the coach, her racket magically connecting with ball after ball.
I couldn’t stand being bad at things
Like being a psychic
Like my great aunt, who helped the LAPD locate missing bodies
According to family lore, she was quite successful, but the effort left her exhausted and bedridden for days
We tried an experiment to see if I had psychic abilities
The results were negative
I wondered,
If she were a psychic, didn’t she know I couldn’t see the image of a red balloon she was holding in her mind?
Didn’t she see into her future when a caregiver would drain her bank accounts?
I couldn’t stand being bad at being a psychic, but I think she was bad at it too.
I couldn’t stand being bad at things,
Like banking
I didn’t understand the why or how of balancing the amount of money in the little sideways book.
My sister thought it was great fun and became an accountant.
I became fearful of banks and developed a laissez-faire attitude toward keeping track of every penny
I am thankful for the tool in my pocket that does all my banking and it always balances, without fear.
I couldn’t stand being bad at things,
I am not a psychic accountant who plays tennis.